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Location: marengo, il, United States

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

To All the Esquires I Have Known Before

A thoughtful reader sent me a letter. Rather than do the polite thing and respond in kind, I figure here is another shot at me winning the Pulitzer, so follow along, kids; I have blogging material. Now let’s hope that all of America decides to vote me in.

I am not the type who goes in search of new readers (not that I am adverse to having more readers; I am merely your basic lazy lazyman. If a company were to make a couch-potato doll, it would certainly resemble me. I am afraid my condition is terminal, and there seems to be no hope for a cure down the road, nor would I accept any offered treatments or prescribed pills or oily ointments). I am glad they stop by, though. I know they do, because my counter at the bottom keeps on clicking.

Now if you were to ask how I installed my handy tool to begin with, I would cry without shame about how I forget things, especially technical computery stuff. I do recall giving it a nice Tahitian name of feminine persuasion right away. She was so winsome and popular. But I am afraid even her classy moniker has now vaporized from memory. And yet she keeps on ticking.

I do check my little clicker everyday. That almost sounds medical, but it was unintended, for I really do. I average about twenty hits a day, and ten of those are probably due to curious me. I also recall when it once shot past one hundred. That was an exciting but scary day. I just knew at the time that I would get pulled over by a cop, so I ran and hid for an entire week. Yet it kept on ticking.

So my reader wanted to know if I minded if they installed a similar thing. I am pretty sure I did not invent or build mine, so knowing how thrifty I am (my kids never use nifty words like that, which means it came to me free), then what else could I say but offer a benison.

Go, and count no more. Let the cute wahine do it for you.

I am mildly insane (my kids never use weak words such as mild, either), but I can truly appreciate the effort it must take for anyone to bother linking to my blog. I would apologize for not returning the favor, but those who know the unplumbed depths of my techno-ineptness will understand why I do not.

12 Comments:

Blogger Janus Torrell said...

I know how it goes with technical ineptness, my secret is that since I have a link up to another blog, I am able to do the same code after that to link to others.

So not technical at all, but more like able to cheat off my other answers.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

I know I am wired wrong. I read to "I have a link up" before my brain went mush on me.

Hey, but I liked the cheat part. That relates only too well here.

12:55 PM  
Blogger The Fractal Cat said...

I have computer-stained fingers but I still know nothing. Cheating is good, but the best thing is to find a friendly expert.
~Definition of an expert - EX = the unknown factor,
Spert(spert) = a Drip, under pressure.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

I have a confession to make: I read manuals. Yes, even the little slips of paper written in translated Taiwanese Chinese that make no sense at all. And the big, bulky ones that start off with with instructions on how to look at what you've just bought. I read them because I find it interesting to know just what this new beeper, buzzer or universal incongruity can do. But I never claim to retain what I read. I just get number one son to do it.

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol,Mr. Way...they did, in fact, make a couch-potato doll...complete with a couch potato sack...i am the proud owner of one...now i'm going to have a hard time looking at it because you said it would describe what you look like...it paints a picture in my head of..''if they did'' and the reality of ''they did''..i guess i now know what you look like?...Every day IS a new day!

7:32 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

To of the moment reader, finding to this interest with much soap: Please to desire understanding of jealous feeling regarding the future purchase of number one son.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

Any mouse, thanks. Now I crave a sack.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

Excellent observations, Fractal Cat!

9:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The wonderful thing about the sack,Mr.Way, is this..it doubles as a remote control holder..so, if you know where the couch-spud is(hopefully cuddled in the corner of the couch)you know where that remote is so you don't have to get up and change the channel(remember those days?)...i'm talking about a couch-spud that is more like a pillow than a doll...got to have a place to rest that weary head...lots of luck in your writing..it never ceases to amaze me..Ev

4:32 AM  
Blogger Harry said...

And I am amazed by having the best readers, Ev. Not only do I get the nicest compliments, but ideas for handy survival tools as well.

9:36 AM  
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