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Location: marengo, il, United States

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Excerpt Three from Letters to Elisha Hamilton

“Dad, after just a few days of this crap, I understand where you were coming from when you were always yelling at me and Joel to do stuff. The idea of boot camp is genius!”

Two days ago, David lost another pair of glasses, so mom took him to the optometrist ($200,with a coupon) again.

While they were gone, a lady from DCFS rang the doorbell here at the cave entrance, asking to see David. She had a report, she claimed, that we were starving the child to death, so she wanted to see what he looked like for herself.

Oy vey. The lovely inquisitor turned out to be some lively entertainment, but she has things settled nicely by now, we think.

We hope.

Later, your mom and me sat in the living room and stared at each other for awhile. Then she went to crying how he had just gotten suspended from school for the day, as well as all the money for new glasses, and the poop in the cage, and the fleas…

I understood each point she made, but…

“Well, look on the bright side, hon. At least we don’t have cockroaches.”

She shot me a cold February look.

“Don’t ever say things like that -- you will jinx us for sure.”

…which led to an interesting theological debate.

Later on, I went out and showed David how to take the cage apart so it could be hosed clean.

And right after he lifted the top half, he came back inside to tell me what he just found.

Little German cockroaches…hiding in the gaps and crevasses of the cage…free from the great state of Texas.

Okay, so maybe I should stop looking on the bright side.

5 Comments:

Blogger Janus Torrell said...

lol never ever ever say "It could be worse" even if it's true, because it always seems to make it that way.
I still knock on wood when I say stuff, I am paranoid.

12:38 PM  
Blogger The Fractal Cat said...

Terry Thomas was an actor from the early days (1930's) and made a name for himself himself by having a gap in his teeth. Anyway, I happened to listen one day to the radio and he was on and talking about his life and he said that his view of life was as follows...
- Life, he said, was like a bar of soap in the bath; Just as you think you have grasped it, it is up your *rse!
Just thought I would share that. :)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

Okay, I get it now. It would be great if a fresh Whataburger fell from the sky and landed in my hand.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Harry said...

Terry-Thomas claimed the hyphen (originally named Thomas Terry) represented that trademark gap in his teeth, Frac.

"Good show!"

"You're an absolute shower"

6:19 PM  
Blogger Gone Away said...

Hmmm, reminds me of some ancient Anglo Saxon wisdom - the one that says:

It doesn't matter how many things you reckon can go wrong and you prepare for, the one that ultimately happens is the one you never even dreamed of.

Fate is a touchy dame and should not be messed with. :D

11:32 AM  

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