Notions of a Bicycle (part three)
This I cannot explain: I have an ability to reason. This capacity, this flair, this knack – call it what you will -- seems to expand on its own, and it continues to grow by the hour, causing shapeless new questions to taunt me. The source of this gift invites a great amount of curiosity on my part, but somehow I know answers will come later.
My peers also possess similar talents, yet I remain firmly rooted in my own beliefs and unaffected by their theories. Still, something troubles me. It is a thought which I must keep hidden until I am able to examine it more.
I am learning more about the objects on sticks. At least I have absorbed new facts about them, albeit each one that I collect seems to brings to mind even more perplexing things. Understand; we all knew from the outset they were the ones who formed us, for example. We could not have existed, otherwise.
But I dare not characterize some of the ideas proposed that first night as rational. I remember a claim made by one brother that we each evolved – another proposed that we simply made ourselves. Both proponents then spent an extraordinary amount of time expressing individual views, and both seemed bent on convincing the lot of us that only one of these systems could be feasible. That particular period also brought on a great deal of consternation to our brotherhood.
As a whole, most of us understood and accepted the objects on sticks as our creators. All seemed to revere them; to exhibit a sense of awe and wonder at their marvelous abilities, but I admit now to having suspicions. My negative thoughts have come from deliberations each of the objects entertained, and of which I have had ample time to observe.
From the beginning I recall a purpose. Cogent steps, sensible plans, an injunction set down; laws and specific commands to be followed. But interspersed among all this cohesion, I visualize other ideas; separate and random thoughts, confusing fractals of unrelated things.
At once, it came to me as untranslatable, and therefore above my limited understanding. But now I believe it was pure nonsense, and as a result, I confess to these doubts.
I do trust with absolute certainty the information I have gathered so far. But these unstable and puzzling objects can only be identified as just that: unstable and puzzling.
Some of the thoughts they carry around can only be depicted as intense cravings for other objects. I feel at a loss for enlightenment, yet this position is expressed by many of them. In most, it seemed to be playful; yet in a few, I was struck by something evil or malevolent. I became very uncomfortable listening to them.
Later, I was surprised to sense deep hostilities coming from almost every object. Petty annoyances with others. Criticisms. Grievances. Complaints of things I have yet to fathom. I received many confusing ideas about rights being violated, and I marvel still at possible meanings.
Then there were the desires to act upon others, or of acting more important than the rest. It had to do with inner value or worth, and focusing on it seemed to give some of the objects intense pleasure.
A few craved mood-altering sustenance. This odd thought is inexplicable.
Strangest yet was the impression some gave that they were indeed different and special and original and without blemish or flaw. I cannot explain that type of reasoning, nor justify why any object would wander into such a strange area.
I only know the thoughts they think.
One thing I have established: they all are very odd creatures.
(I should note that some acted more kind and more gentle than the others. This gives me hope, for I have concluded that I am utilitarian in design. I am meant to help in some way.)